The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

I have read this aricle from a friendster bulletin of my friends...

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in
salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays
off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor
ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,

P. Niss

The Response

Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and
considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your
request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of
the management team.You do not stay in
your designated area and are often seen
visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to
be pressured and stimulated in order to
start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at
the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary
safety regulations, such as wearing the
correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work
area before you have completed the
assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been
seen constantly entering and exiting the
workplace carrying two
suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,

V. Gina